You Know What I Hate: People Who Stand on Escalators

What is with this? People who live or commute into the city daily have probably witnessed this. The rule has always been stand on the right walk on the left. How this confuses and baffles people is beyond me. It's unwritten, no sign is needed. Are people that stupid? You see everyone else standing on the right side and people walking on the left side. So logically one would assume the right is for lazy idiots who apparently think the escalator was invented so they didn't have to walk up a flight of stairs and the left for those who know its true intention, to get up the stairs faster.

My finding standing on the escalator lazy aside if you must why would you block those in a rush? I notice there's 2 main types of people who do this. The biggest offender is tourists, of course. They stand there with their luggage taking up the whole thing. Putting their bags in front of them would be out of the question.  They also see a need to stand right next to each other so they can talk while riding the escalator. Riding, fucking riding the escalator. Something created as a simple convenience to help expedite the commuting process has now turned into something we RIDE. Only in America would we do such a thing.

Back on topic couples are the worst. They gotta hold hands and make out. Of all the places to do it they have to pick here. Again a place of expedited travel. It'd be like making out during a marathon. Anyways that's tourists but there's still another group. Before I mention this I want to lay out a disclaimer. No I'm not racist I'm making an observation based on experience. Anyone whose spent extensive time in San Fran has ran into someone similar to who I'm about to mention.

The rude African American man. So in my case he had a cane, clearly had to stand and still chose to use the left side for standing, right in front of me, halting all traffic on the escalator. He purposefully pushed in front of me to get there just so he could stand in my way. After we get off he pretended to walk into a girl and then proceeded to grope her while apologizing. Then on my way home another man did something similar. He was walking out of my path when he noticed I was headed for the Bart stairs. He looks at me and then walks right in my way so I have to go around him or stop for him. He smiled while he did it too so it wasn't an accident. I know Caucasian people did horrible things to African Americans in the past but do we really need to harbor the grudge? All the extra hate gets us nowhere. Course around SF you see that crap all the time. The homeless can be especially pushy, and prone to shouting. I really don't need an aggressive guy yelling at me because I don't carry change.

Then there's the teenagers, oh the teenagers. They all come dressed in their retarded rave outfits. Sporting glow sticks and enough E to fry a sperm whale's brain like an egg. They're rude as hell. They litter, they treat clerks and waitresses like crap, and they're annoying. Its like they have no idea how to act in public. They always ride the rail on the escalator. Its not a seat! I always hope one of them falls off and cracks their head on the marble floor below. Malicious I know but they really get on my nerves.

Earlier today when I got off Bart the escalator was closed. I thought “Oh no! What will they do!” The amount of foot traffic was around half what it normally is. Everyone else opted to use the working escalator on the other side of the platform. You usually take this one because the exit you need is closer to here. I guess walking extra distance on level ground is better then walking up a flight of stairs, lazy asses. Then there's stations like Colma with no escalators going up. So everyone has to walk and of course then you get the people who can't handle the stairs. There is an elevator and obviously they should be using it. Seriously they walk up the steps like retarded penguins. Waddling back and fourth and usually hitting me with whatever bag they have. One guy almost tripped me by hitting my back foot with his lunch box.

Man I'm getting off track. Time for some closing statements. Escalators are for walking, not standing. If you must stand to the right and let us people who have things to do get by. If you can't handle the stairs use the damn elevator!